Love's Gumbo

How to Build Your Self Esteem Following a Bad Relationship

By Jill Jackson

Relationships going bad are events that affect a large number of people at some point during their lives. In extreme cases people have to endure mental abuse from their partners, which can have a destructive influence on them that they live with for the rest of their lives. This is one of the major causes of low self esteem.

It is not easy to bounce back from the mental abuse you were made to bear and your self-esteem can be in tatters. This type of mental abuse is generally because your partner wants to make you feel worthless and insecure.

Your partner acts this way to gain control and boost his or her own ego (yes, women can be destructive, too). They want you to suffer low self-esteem to stop you thinking for yourself. Getting out of a relationship like that is your first priority to enable you to keep your sanity.

To ensure that you bounce back from this mental abuse you will need to take action. It’s important to stay active. Make time for your family and friends, because an abuser takes pleasure to alienate you from your loved ones.

Keep your mind focused on other things so that you don’t spend all day at home and become dependent on the destructive person is fuelling your low self esteem. Get in contact with friends, read empowering books and watch uplifting films or start a project like learning a new skill.

It is important that you keep yourself occupied. If you have a job, continue to work and take note of your goals and achievements. If you don’t have a job, look for one. Working can get your mind off of your problems and confirms to you that you can do whatever you concentrate on – and lead you to overcoming your low self esteem.

Avoid jumping into other relationships until your emotions have healed. Early on you are more likely to enter into a relationship with a partner just like your ex. You don’t want to get into the same situation as before and repeat the cycle of abuse.

Never waste time on thinking about your ex partner – It does not matter if it is positive or negative thoughts. A lot of people spend masses of time thinking about how much they hate their former partner or how they wish they could get revenge.

Release the anger and simply focus on what’s important – you! You owe it to yourself to move forward. Don’t be afraid to seek some low self esteem help. A counsellor can assist you with your feelings and help you build your self-esteem back up. Refuse to let a destructive relationship destroy your spirit.

If you would like more information on the ultimate relaxation system that will naturally help you to build your self esteem click here.

Jill Jackson live is Thailand and writes articles for various publications

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Anti Aging Foods That Make You Look and Feel Young
By R Chandler Smith

Aging is a natural phenomenon in a human lifecycle. It can’t be prevented because as each year passes by people age. And it is a fact that as people age, there will be physical changes that come along with it. Wrinkles will show up, there may be memory deterioration, and there would be a high risk of contracting diseases like cancer, Alzheimer’s, elevated blood pressure and cardiac failures.

But we can slow down aging by eating the right kinds of food and living healthy. This way it would be looking and feeling healthy and youthful at the same time. And since more and more people are health conscious nowadays and most of these people take into consideration their food intake, many have now known the benefits of eating anti-aging foods. These anti aging foods are rich in antioxidants that help keep skin firm by safeguarding the skin’s collagen and elastic tissue from oxidants or free radicals that damage it.

Berries

Berries of all hues contain vitamin C and phytochemicals known as flavonoids that are powerful antioxidants which help protect the body against damage caused by free radicals and aging. Blueberries are also known to have memory-boosting potential.

Avocado

Avocado is a good source of healthy monounsaturated fat that helps reduce the level of bad cholesterol in the body. It is a good source of vitamin E which can help maintain healthy skin, prevent skin aging, and alleviate menopausal hot flashes. It is also rich in fiber that is good for the digestive system and the heart.

Cruciferous Vegetables

Cruciferous vegetables like cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, and brussels sprouts assist the body in fighting toxins and cancer. It is best to eat them raw or very lightly cooked so that the important enzymes remain intact.

Green Leafy Vegetables

These vegetables are prime sources of lutein and zeaxanthin that protect the eyes from the harmful effects of ultraviolet light. Green leafy vegetables are also rich in vitamin K which helps reduce bone loss and prevent fractures.

Nuts

Nuts are rich sources of unsaturated fats, vitamins, minerals and other phytochemicals, including antioxidants. They also enhance the digestive and immune systems, help control and/or prevent cancer, and control cholesterol levels.

Whole Grains

Whole grains like whole wheat, oats, brown rice and cereals are high in fiber and vitamin B which help improve the digestive system. They help prevent diabetes, heart disease, stroke, colon cancer, high blood pressure and gum.

Wine

Drinking alcohol in moderation help prevent heart disease, diabetes and age-related memory deterioration. Red wine on the other hand contains resveratrol which is a potent antioxidant, inflammation depressant, fat burner and artery protector. Although animal research has shown that high amounts of resveratrol may prevent cell death in the heart and brain which would prolong life.

All of the aforesaid anti aging foods ordinarily are not hard to come by. These are all found in the supermarkets and grocery stores. Therefore there will be no further reasons on not having these foods in your list whenever you go shopping for food. Stock up the grocery bags with these anti aging foods for a much healthier brand new you.

To learn more about eating healthy foods to improve your quality of life and add years to your lifespan, check out Anti Aging Foods.org

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SIX IS IT(Episode 4)Things that make the world go around from Sixisit Episodes on Vimeo.

Signs a Guy Isn’t Over His Ex-Girlfriend
By Andy De Ronda

Getting into a new relationship with a guy can lead to a lot of anxiety about his most recent relationship, is he over her, has he moved on, does he really want to start a new relationship with you, and can he commit to putting 100% effort into making his relationship with you work?

Nobody can be certain that a new relationship is meant to be, but if a previous relationship is still on his mind then he’s not going to be able to give you what you need, so here are a few tips to help you decide if he’s ready for you, and if you should give him a chance or walk away.

If he started dating again almost immediately after his last relationship there is a strong possibility he is ignoring the ‘get over her’ phase of breaking up, also known as the grieving process which is common after any relationship ends. Putting his feelings aside and pretending he’s not hurting isn’t fair to you because he probably won’t be able to put 100% into getting to know you.

If he is still seeing his soon to be ex when he meets you and sparks fly, again their is a very strong possibility he isn’t going to be able to give you or his relationship with you 100% of his energy. It is better to wait until his ex is off the scene and he’s had some time to get used to being single again, if you think he’s the right person for you then give him time, perhaps tell you’re interested but you want to take things slowly.

If he seems to only talk about her with anger or hopeful love, then he probably still has some unresolved feelings that need to be dealt with, or he hasn’t recognized his own part in the relationship ending. Be aware that hating his ex, or pining over lost love means he is highly unlikely to be able to think about you without also thinking about his ex, and that could lead to unfair comparisons, you should propbably think twice about starting a relationship with this guy.

If he just can’t seem to stay away from his ex, other than if he needs to be in touch with her because of children or shared responsibilities you should make sure he isn’t holding onto something that should be over. Be gentle, you may not need to force the issue, simply ask him if he’d like to talk about his ex and what he still has with her, you may discover he is able to commit to a relationship with you and that his ex isn’t a threat to your happiness.

If seems to be too interested in his ex, perhaps he still has too many photos of her on his mobile, or reads her star sign every day, or you notice he checks out her facebook profile or who are new friends are then you might have a problem that suggests the ex is still too important and that spells trouble for your relationship with him.

With these tips on what to look for you should be able to say fairly confidently that your new guy is ready for you or still hung up on his ex, and remember that any guy who isn’t ready for you should probably cut loose to find his way. If he comes back to you that talk it through and let him know you expect him to work on a relationship with you, but don’t accept second place if you ever hope to have a future with him.

If you enjoyed this article by Andy, he offers great advice about LED night light on his newest project, the LED desk light shop.

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