Loves Gumbo Sistah Circle Exercise # 2: Roles We Play
Sometimes in life we play out the roles that others have set for us. We do what every one expects us to do, we are who they want us to be, but we may not stop to think about who we want to be. This exercise will help us identify the roles we have been expected to play and to evaluate whether they fit with who we want to be.
Being our authentic selves can help us be successful in love!
Think about your responses and copy and paste the answers in the comments section.
- Growing up in my neighborhood I was expected to be ____________________________________, so I acted like_______________________.
- Growing up in my parents house I was expected to be _______________________________________________, So I often___________________________________________________________.
- When I was in school I was known for ____________________________________________________, and it made me feel________________________________________________________________________.
- At work they expect me to be _____________________________________and in return I ___________________________________.
- My girlfriends see me as the_____________________________________,and I think they are __________________________________________.
- My family needs me to __________________________________________, so I _______________________________________________________.
- My community thinks I am ________________________________________, however, I am ______________________________________.
ABOUT THIS AUTHOR
Growing up in my neighborhood I was expected to be soft, impotent, and ineffective, so I acted like I could do everything and like I could beat anybody.
Growing up in my parents house I was expected to be the baby and to be obedient, So I often acted like the baby and I followed the rules.
When I was in school I was known for running my mouth, and it made me feel like I had to say something about everything.
At work they expect me to be the person who has all the answers and the bad cop and in return I feel exhausted and like I don’t want to do the job anymore.
My girlfriends see me as a woman who can do it all effortlessly without much assistance, and I think they are overestimating me and could help me when I need me.
My family needs me to the one who keeps it all together, so I Push myself even when I really don’t have the energy to do it.
My community thinks I am a woman who does it all effortlessly, however, it is not as easy as it looks.
This is really good. I’m going to post it on my FB page.
1. Growing up in my neighborhood I was expected to be __Tough, so I acted like I didn’t care and wasn’t afraid of anybody.
2. Growing up in my parents house I was expected to be seen and not heard, be the oldest and take care of the other kids, work and clean house, Never disobey. So I often hid my feelings, acting as if they were not important, Putting what I perceived as my parents and siblings happiness before my own. Resulting in a small stint with anorexia because I felt powerless.
3. When I was in school I was known for being the “good girl”, and it made me feel happy.
4. At work they expect me to be to fail and in return I tried hard to rise above.
5. My girlfriends see me as the funny one, the highly motivated and very secure one ,and I think they are right…SOMETIMES.They might be surprised to know differently.
6. My family needs me to be strong and able to handle things, so I used to bend over backwards to please them.
7. My community thinks I am quiet, however, I am the opposite of that when I am in a comfortable setting.
I wonder if growing up acting fearless affects our relationships. Does it keep us from being vulnerable within our relationships and from allowing someone else to protect us?
It seems like LG#1 can learn from S.H. some tips on how to keep from doing too much for family members.
@S.H. why do feel the your job expects you to fail? Wanna share?
@lovesGumbo I was mostly talking about past corporate jobs. However , there have been times now when I feel that some around me may not take me and my current business endeavors seriously. I keep pushing ahead, fulfilling my passions because it is serious to me. They will believe soon enough.
Yes, I understand what you mean about corporate America. It’s not for everyone. Many of us try it and then say “no Thanks, there is more in the world for me.”
Being a business owner does feel like you are on a one woman island at times, and it also has beautiful and long lasting rewards.
1. Growing up in my neighborhood I was expected to be _____A good child_______________________________, so I acted like______A good child._________________.
2. Growing up in my parents house I was expected to be ____Good___________________________________________, So I often____________Did what my grandmother to ld me to do_______________________________________________.
3. When I was in school I was known for _______being quiet and shy_____________________________________________, and it made me feel_____________Even more shy and out casted.___________________________________________________________.
4. At work they expect me to be ___Ontime__________________________________and in return I ______Do my job_____________________________.
5. My girlfriends see me as the_________Counselor, caregiver, therapist, listener of others problems, the leader and the doer. ____________________________,and I think they are ______right most of the time how they perceive me and are great friends.____________________________________.
6. My family needs me to ______Support them____________________________________, so I ________________________Give support_______________________________.
7. My community thinks I am ______a good person__________________________________, however, I am ___________a good person. ___________________________.
1. Growing up in my neighborhood I was expected to be nice, so I acted like a good kid__.
2. Growing up in my parents house I was expected to be the second mom, So I often took care of my 3 younger sisters_.
3. When I was in school I was known for being a slut, and it made me feel sad
_.
4. At work they expect me to be smiley_and in return I get frustrated_.
5. My girlfriends see me as the_fun party person_,and I think they are Not always there when I need them
6. My family needs me to be independent, so I struggle everyday
.
7. My community thinks I am quiet, however, I am loud ______________________________________.