Be Ms. Right Before Looking for Mr. Right
By Brooke Brimm
There is a bunch of talk among women about finding Mr. Right, and there
seems to be a common consensus that finding him is a near impossible task. A
Woman who is perceived to have found him is envied and bombarded with
questions as to how she landed him. The problem with this Mr. Right theory is that
it implies that women are automatically Ms. Rights. Unfortunately, this is not true.
We are not all wonderful, innocent, drama-free damsels waiting patiently for our Mr.
Right. It’s hard to admit, but women are capable of doing just as much lying,
cheating, and gaming as men.
If you expect to find a man that is from free from game- playing, lying,
cheating, and deceiving, be committed to being that kind of person yourself. Make a
conscious effort to treat others with respect. Decide to be open and honest with
others, decide to share and give of yourself, and decide to live up to the
truthfulness and righteousness in which you believe. The closer you move toward
becoming Ms. Right the sooner you will attract Mr. Right because people of like
mines, words, and deeds are drawn to one another.
I remember when I realized that the game playing in my life had to stop. I
moved to a new city with the belief that if I got away from the bad influences in my
life (i.e. “no good men”) everything would be great. However, within one month of
living in my new city I had attracted the same old drama. I quickly realized that
although my environment had changed I had stayed the same, and had created all
the same turmoil within a very short period of time.
I began the slow and steady progression toward being a better person. Two
years later I married a great man, and we have been in a fifteen- year marriage that
is sincere, respectful, and free of game playing. Not to imply that we have not hurt
each other because we have. It’s hard to avoid hurting each other in any
relationship. However, we come together in respect and honesty to work out our
problems, and try really hard to be the best we can be for each other. We own our
emotions, and share how we feel with the knowledge that it may get ugly at times,
but we can get through it.
Stir it up: Observe how you interact with the men in your life. Think
about what you might be with holding, hiding, sneaking, lying about, cheating, and
the games you may be playing. In your heart, you will recognize right from wrong
because God made it so. The next time you feel like what you are about to do is
wrong do not give in. Do what is right! Then ask yourself what motivated you to
want to do wrong. Why did you feel justified to do the wrong thing? It is not because
you are a bad person it probably has more to do with emotions like fear, anger,
frustration, envy or disappointment. Remember it is okay to feel these emotions
because God made them, but it is not okay to react destructively because of what
you feel.
ABOUT THIS AUTHOR
I like that you separate fate from destiny. There is something to be said for trying to account for the idea that we can sometimes fail to fulfill our destiny.
Hey Brooke,
My personal thought is that sometimes we inadvertently look for the “Mr. Right” because we are trying to find someone to right the wrong we feel within. The problem with that is when we pull people into our lives when we are not 100%, we are only able to give so much. During these times, also, we are going to attract exactly what we are because it’s all we are able to attract at that time, in that state we are in.
I have been through this. I feel that I have spent a lot of time trying to “groom” my Mr. Right. Basically, getting someone as close to MR as possible and working out the kinks. Problem was, I was not yet whole myself and it became a huge blaming game because I was not yet ready to see that.
I think once we take a look and see how we are interacting, it will be a nice first step into seeing what is missing within ourselves and nix on trying to find a relationship..until we find/fix ourselves.
Thanks for the post. I enjoyed it very much.
Ttyl,
XOXO
I believe working on ourselves will naturally attract the right person. Going on a continual quest to find him without doing our own work will always leave us wanting.