Ballers Play Games, and They Expect You to be Their #1 Fan
By Brooke Brimm, The Love’s Gumbo Editor
It seems to me that love relationships are being greatly influenced by pop culture and media these days. So I think it is necessary to dissect all that we are being fed to safeguard ourselves against illusion and deception.
If you listen to the radio, watch a music video today, or even watch religious TV today you’ll be guaranteed to hear about a man that is “ballin.” What does it mean when we say someone is “ballin?” It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is a professional ball player, but the meaning is derived from the fabulous lifestyle that professional ball players are perceived to live.
To some it may seem as though a “Baller” would be a dream come true. “Ballers” have flashy cars, flashy jewelry, flashy homes, and they flash lots of cash, but let’s for a minute put a “Baller” under the magnifying glass.
“Ballers” are a hot commodity, and they know it. They may expect you to behave like a fan and ignore their misdeeds. Athletes, music industry professionals, ministers, lawyers, doctors, corporate executives, and other high profile professionals are very accustomed to getting and doing what they want when it comes to women. Some are humbled by their privilege and walk in grace and gratitude everyday. They take care of their families. They are role models in their communities. They are extremely responsible with what they have earned. Others of them are extremely attuned to the fact that they are well sought after, and as a result misuse and abuse that privilege. These are whom I refer to as “Ballers.” To get involved with one of these types may involve tolerating a lot of lying, cheating, and misbehaving.
“Ballers” may expect you to fawn over them with superficial adoration. Once a guy feels like he is a hot commodity he comes to expect lots of flattery and false compliments. The normal male ego is already a little inflated, but it can become very bloated if he feels like women everywhere are interested. You can see the need for attention displayed in public places, when they rush to announce their station in life. When a man is overly anxious to reveal his career over his beliefs or convictions about life, it is usually because he expects some praise for his achievements within societal norms.
“Ballers” may also think they can throw dollars or gifts at you to keep you in line. Since money is one of the things “Ballers” are most known for, throwing a bit at a problem is an easy task. Instead of dealing with issues that arise by talking them out and gaining understanding through a closer bond, they just keep buying gifts and spending money to avoid true intimacy.
If ignoring misdeeds, showering a man with excessive flattery, and having money thrown at your emotions seem like good exchanges for you “getting paid” or “marrying a baller”, then you are probably more willing than others to be with a “Baller.”
If your rationale is “ hey, he pays all my bills”, consider this: you may be paying a much bigger price than money. You may be paying with your self-esteem, of which you have to give a piece of every time he humiliates you. You may be paying with your soul if you really dislike most of his characteristics, but pretend to love them to gain riches. You may even be paying with your future by spending your time investing in a relationship that does not fulfill you.
ABOUT THIS AUTHOR
Reply