Are you ready?
By Brooke Brimm
I often hear women say that they are in need of, praying for, or looking for a
man. I see these same women get a man, but somehow things just do not work the
way the want. As a result, the search begins once again. Some women may draw the conclusion that men are worthless, and that there is a chance they may never find
one. I think it is more a matter of readiness, clarity of purpose, and timing.
If you are one of these women who is in search of a man, have you ever asked
yourself why you want him? Do you need a male role model for your child? Do you
want to have sex on a regular basis without feeling unsafe? Do you want someone
to help pay the bills you have made? Do you want a boyfriend, so your friends will
envy you? Do you want to go places and do things you’ve never done? Do you need
someone to talk and laugh with? Are you looking for a life partner?
It is important to know what you want and what you are ready for. You may
want a man for casual reasons, but he may need a partner. He may have deep issues
he is dealing which would require a strong understanding woman by his side, and
all you really want is to go on dates, have regular sex, and exchange gifts on
holidays. Or vice versa. In a situation like that, no one is wrong when things start
falling apart. It is more an issue of being clear about what you both want and need.
Spend some time contemplating what you want from a man. Think about the
consequences of what you want. For instance, if you want a husband—consider this.
Genesis 3:16 says in practically every bible version after it talks about pain during
childbirth “…your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”
In my experience as a married woman of 16 years and as an observer
of women in marriages for many years, I have never seen an instance where the
husband did not rule in some form or fashion. Sometimes aggressively, sometimes
passively, many times lovingly, but one thing I know is that women defer to the
power of men in marriages. Equal partnerships are non-existent. I am saying this
because I want you to be clear about what being a wife means. It can be a great
thing if you know what you are getting into. It can also be a tough situation if you
are not clear about what it is.
Once you have spent a good amount of time thinking about what you want
and gaining clarity. Begin praying for a person who wants what you want. When you
meet someone you think you are interested in, find out what they want. Be honest
about what you desire. If your desires are not aligned, decide if you should
continue. Be careful not to hurt the other person by being dishonest. Throughout
the course of the relationship check in to make sure you both still want the same
things. If it changes, then return to your contemplative state and emerge with a new
direction. Whatever turn the relationship takes, you will both be at peace with the
decision because you have maintained a level of honesty and awareness.
ABOUT THIS AUTHOR
I think for most women, it is the goal of simply being in a relationship. I honestly don’t think that most women put thought into what exactly it is that we want.
I have heard women say that they “have a list”, only later on to hear them say they “shouldn’t have deviated from the list”. Was there ever a list? Was it a realistic list? I know, from experience, that it is necessary to know what you want and be specific in your prayers to God when asking for said man to appear in your life.
Your questions of what it is we are looking for when searching are good ones, and might very possibly make some women think. Yet, at the end of the day, it is going to be that man with the nice smile and all the right things to say, that will sway most women’s attention, unfortunately. I know a few women in the is current situation.
In my quest, however, I am looking for 4/7 of what you have listed above. I have thought of what exactly it is that I’m looking and plan to, when I am ready, be specific with my prayer to God.
Wish me luck