From One Unemployed Brotha
Many years ago, I heard the term unenjoyment in a song. As I grew older, I came to understand more clearly how appropriate that term really was. I had lost jobs several times before and I had hated each experience. When I got married though, I felt something different. Before I got married, I wanted to be the bread winner in the household. That was going to be difficult though, because my wife earns more than I do and if I remain a teacher, she will always out earn me. Still, I wanted to make life easier by bringing something substantial to the table. Before our first year of marriage, I was unemployed. I qualified for the unenjoyment check but that was barely enough for me to pay the bills I had outside of household requirements. I felt like a failure. How could I get into a marriage and lose my job so soon? Naturally, I was afraid because I realize that many marriages become strained and often fail because of money.
My wife never said anything negative during my time off. We prayed together and she always encouraged me; reminding me that things would get better and urged me to keep my spirits up. Yet, in my mind, I always felt like she was being scrutinized. Her family and friends knew about my situation and I did not want them to criticize her for marrying a bum who was living off of his wife. I can’t say for certain that this is what they were thinking but I have sisters of my own who are married. I know that I would be critical of their choices if their new husbands were in my predicament.
I tried desperately to get back into the work force. The problem though, was this jacked up “Bushwhacked” economy. Our school systems are still down sizing and because the school year is well under way, it is nearly impossible to find a permanent position.
Meanwhile, I found myself putting more pressure on myself to do something to get out of this funk. Despite my wife’s encouragement, my spirits were spiraling downward. I hated those times when she would check to see that all of my personal expenses were handled. I wanted to pay the mortgage, the car insurance, etc. Instead, I felt like a charity case. I never said any of this to my wife though. I am grateful to God that I happened to pick a lady who truly has my back through every difficulty that I might encounter. I love her more than I did before simply because of the dedication she has shown me.
I am working now. Unfortunately, I am not a full time teacher yet but at least I am back in the game. I expect to be fully employed before the start of the next school year. In the mean time, I guess I will just have to swallow my pride, be thankful to Yahweh for my wife, and understand that things could be much worse.
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